I finally got to try DMT! A friend (who I'll call "N" in this story), surprised me over dinner by asking if I'd like to try a special dessert. Why, yes, please!
I smoked the DMT from a freebase pipe. I was to get two tokes off what was packed for me, but I managed to take all or almost all of it in a single toke. "N" has set up to err on the side of too little, rather than too much.
As soon as I begin to draw the smoke into myself, I am hit with a powerful sense of deja vu, the MOST powerful feeling of deja vu I've ever experienced. Different chunks of my perceptual field being wiggling around, faster and faster... rushing, rushing! Reality is violently wrenched from beneath me, the lights in the room morph into rainbow-casting gemstones, and I settle back on the couch to catch as much as I can.
Time draws itself up into a tight knot, much as a New Year's Eve telescoping party toy coils upon itself. I am terrified. Never have I had my perception just completely fall to pieces like this in so little time. The monkey in me is holding on for dear life, as the higher parts try to calm it and look toward the Light. I writhe on the couch, my heart pounds with fear, the sound of my breathing fills my audio world. Incredible.
I feel the weight of the focus of my consciousness. I feel like I am a tiny thing, being studied carefully under an observing device that is tremendous in comparison to my size.
I am adrift with my eyes closed. The feeling is like flying, like levitating, and like falling. I'm zooming along to someplace at tremendous speed, but I can't really see any of the territory that I pass. There is much that is subtle and unfamiliar.
I feel/see Light. Warm, effusive, profound Light, with a bright halo around it. *Nice* Light.
I see a black field studded with thousands of tiny mirrors, each seeming to reflect some diffferent part of something.
I feel/hear/sense my body emit a moan: ecstatic pleasure, release of tension.
I know there's some ambient music on, and there are parts of it that strike me as the wierdest things I have ever heard. It's very faint, but every so often some living tendril of it laps against my sensorium, and I am stricken by its strangeness.
I'm beginning to relax. The observer is in control again. I find my voice and ask "N" how long it's been. "Five minutes." Five minutes! It seemed like mere seconds! I crack my eyes open and am greeted by the most profound open eye visuals I've ever seen. The chandelier throws off a prismatic spray of brilliant pure colors, reds and blues and greens and yellows. It's rather too much for the monkey, and I must close my eyes again.
I am slowly returned to the "real world". I feel like I've taken a long, long journey, but I don't know where I've gone. The Light is still with me, though, and I take comfort in its presence: I know this Light. It is the "something" that I referred to when I said "There's something THERE!" while on LSD and ecstasy. Chunks of perception reattach themselves to my consciousness, and I emerge.
I am struck by how utterly wonderful I feel as I'm coming down. The effect
shares with MDMA the feeling of ultimate solidity, stability, and peace.
I tell "N" that I am "unreasonably happy" and indeed
this is so: I've gone way beyond reason, and come back with another glimpse
of the numinous. No elves, though, and "N" suspects that that's
a dose-related thing. I've come to think through writing this that I would
do well to gain some better experience with lighter tryptamines before I
try this again. It's rare, and I'd hate to miss the forest for the trees.
White American male, aged 23-24 at time of these experiences, who designs data communications networks for a living.
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